Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
