I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
