i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
