I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
