You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It all started with a game of naked twister.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
