My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
