I'm going to jail i love you
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i think my cat just said my name.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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