He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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