We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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