just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
