You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
