If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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