Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
