So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
