i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
