His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
