the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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