How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
