My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize