you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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