He kissed a someone with a penis
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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