you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
as a side note pls kill me
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