jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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