Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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