it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
