i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm just crazy horny about you
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
These tits shall not be calmed
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize