I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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