I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
