Can Purell be used as lube?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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