D3 body, D1 cock
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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