I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
