No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
