Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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