you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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