I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
