it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
