There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
