maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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