Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
