She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
