i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if i died would you start the facebook group?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
