47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
