When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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