We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize