I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
