This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
