she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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