I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
