My balls are so social today.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
