I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize