Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
