How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
