You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
