oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just found puke in my bra..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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