fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
