do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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