we have officially lost it.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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