Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I intend to get homeless drunk
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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