No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
