i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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