Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
