Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
