redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woke up backwards on a recliner
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
