I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
