allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
