I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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