I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
