Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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