Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
And then he peed in my hair
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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