I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
