i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
