I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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