People in love make me want to vomit
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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