i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
