i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
