My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
